BorderLine 邊界

BorderLine 邊界

　

Wars.

Why there are wars in the world, especially between our countries, between his and my countries.

　　戰爭。

　　為什麼世界上要有戰爭？而且就在我們兩國之間，就在我跟他的國家之間。



I still remember he was wearing pure-white shirt on the first day I met him. His short hair had grass aroma, and his smile smelled just like sunshine. He said that he was here to visit a friend, but he was lost. It sounded like a ridiculous excuse, but I actually believed him. I guessed it was just because the weather that day was so nice. Getting the specific address, I found it surprisingly that it was mine. Walking back home, I was guessing whether who he was acquainted, Father or Mother? I opening the door, my elder brother put out his nose and said “Here you come!”

　　我記得第一次見到他的那天，他穿著一件純白的襯衫。短短的頭髮有淺淺的青草香，笑起來有陽光的味道。他說他是來這裡拜訪朋友的，但是他迷了路。聽起來像是個可笑的藉口，但我竟然相信他了。我想或許是那日天氣太美好的緣故。問明了地址，我驚訝的發現，那是我家。猜測著他到底認識誰？父親？母親？我打開門，哥從門內探出頭：「哎，你來啦！」

　

He was my brother’s best friend in college. His name was Jerry. Ken asked me to take him rambling around the town, showing him the beauty of the county land because he suddenly had some emergent incident to care for. As two days touring passed, I found myself fell in love with him. It was in the night the spring celebration finished that he gave my first kiss after sending home. Ken said that he had known we are meat for each other early before Jerry’s coming. Checks burning red, I hit him with a sight to Jerry. Father and Mother were happy. They had seen Jerry as a son in low after Ken’s introduction. Everyone but I was planning to sell me out. My heart was still filled with joy. At least we had the family’s wishes.

　　原來他是哥最好的大學同窗。他叫做Jerry。Ken突然有急事要處裡，所以讓我帶他去鎮上走走，去會會美麗的鄉村風光。經過了擔任他兩天的嚮導，我發現我愛上了他。就在春宴結束的夜晚，他在送我回家後，吻了我。哥說他早在Jerry來之前就知道我們兩個是天生一對。紅著臉，我在看了Jerry一眼後打了Ken一掌。爸跟媽很開心。他們早在Ken把Jerry介紹給他們的時候就認定了他是女婿。原來天下早就計畫著要把我賣出去了，只有我不知道而已。不過我還是很慶幸，至少我們得到了全家的祝福。

　

Good days didn’t last long. My happiness was broken on the day Jerry received a letter from his home. It said that his country asked all the young men to come back to the country, but it didn’t tell the reason. That day, I sent him to the station. He held my hand tightly, kissing me on my forehead. “I will be back, I promise.” He said. I hold him with all my strength till the steam whistle screamed out. The moment I let go my hand, I felt my world faded into black and white. The train started its trip. I ran and ran and ran, chasing after it. He jutted his face from the window with his sad eyes. I didn’t stop running until I could only see a little black shadow. Tears were in my eyes, but I tried my best not to let it drop down. “Promise me, don’t cry, my lady.” He carefully touched my hair as if it was his precious. “Be brave.” he whispered in my ear.

　　快樂的日子總是不長久。我的幸福在Jerry收到家信的那一日碎了，散落一地。他的國家正在號召所有青年返國，沒有任何理由。那一天，我送他到車站。他握緊了我的手，輕吻我的額頭，「我會回來的，我保證。」他說。我用盡所有力氣想將他抱個滿懷，直到汽笛聲殘忍地響起。就在我放手的那一刻，我的世界褪成了黑白。火車啟動了。我倏然驚醒，朝他奔跑。他從窗內探出他的臉──和他哀傷的雙眼。我一直跑一直跑，直到我只能看見一個遠方的小黑影才停下。眼淚在眼框裡打轉，但我試著別讓它落下。「答應我，別哭，我的小姐。」那時他小心地拂過我的髮絲，彷彿它是他所珍藏的寶貝。「要勇敢。」他在我耳邊細語。

　

And the war began. The smell of tensity spread throughout the country. Ken was called to join the army. The day he left for the station, he said to me, ”The last man I would want to see on the first line is Jerry.” His face became smaller and smaller, nothing I could do then but watch him left. Then I got a latter from Jerry. I could hardly describe my feeling at that second. God knew that I had been dreaming this picture for days and days. I was eager to know if he was fine, but I was also afraid to hear even a little bad thing about him. Finally, I opened the latter. He said that he joined the army, too, even he didn’t want to. He said he loved his country but he loved me, too. Seeing this, I felt something warm was in my eyes again. Oh, how much did I wish to hear him speak it to me face to face. He also told me that on the first day of next month, he would arrive to the borderline. The borderline! The surface of the country! That was the only place that allowed us to see each other.

　　然後戰爭開始了。緊張的氣味散佈在整個國家的空氣中。哥被徵召加入了部隊。他要離開前往車站的那日，他跟我說：「我在戰場上最不想見到的人就是Jerry。」他的身影逐漸遠縮，而我什麼都不能做，只能目送他離開。不久，我收到了Jerry的來信。很難形容我當時的感覺，天知道，我每天每夜都在夢裡看見這幅畫面。我急著想知道他是否安好，卻又害怕得知任何──即使只有一絲絲──關於他的惡耗。終於，我拆開了信封。他說，他萬不情願地加入了軍隊。他還說，他愛他的國家，但他也愛我。看到著，我感覺有股熱流在眼中氤氳。噢，我多麼、多麼希望能親耳聽到他如此對我說。他還告訴我，就在下個月的第一天，他將會抵達邊界。邊界！國家的表面！那是唯一一個允許我們相見的地方了。

　

It was a rainy day. Border soldiers stood a line separated the two countries, and separated he and me. The longest distance in the world was I knew my heart but I couldn’t reach my happiness. And I saw him, the man I loved for so a long time. Deep in my heart, I would like to cry out that I love him so much so much, but I couldn’t. His eyes, his nose and his lips were so familiar to me. I want to hold him not let go, telling him that I would never and never to be split up with him again, but I couldn’t. I saw him holding out his hand to me. I rushed to the borderline, trying to reach it, but the security pulled me away. “Let go her!” I heard him shouted. Feeling the power that crapped me had been loose, I extended my hand as far as I could. And I touched him. His finger was as cold as an ice. His lips moved. At first, I didn’t know what he was trying to say, and then, I understood it. Couldn’t be stopped, tears steamed out of my eyes. The guard came nearly me again, and I could only see his face getting foggier and foggier in the morning rain. He said, “I love you.”

　　那是個雨天。邊界守衛站成一條線，隔開了國與國的分界，也隔開了我和他。世界上最遙遠的距離是，我明白自己的心意卻碰觸不了幸福。在內心深處，我想大叫出我好愛好愛他──但我做不到。他的眼，他的鼻，他的唇都是我最熟悉的。我想緊緊抱住他，不放手，告訴他，我再也、再也不要和你分開──但我做不到。我看見他朝我伸出手，拔了腿就往邊界衝，但警衛扯開了我。「放開她！」我聽見他努吼著。感覺到抓住我的力量減小，我盡可能的伸長手。然後我碰觸到他了。他的手指是如此的冰冷一如那冰山的一角。而後他的雙唇動了動。一開始，我並不了解他想告訴我什麼，然後，我突然明白了。阻止不了的淚水如泉般湧出眼。守衛又再度靠近我，而我只能望見他的臉在清晨的細雨中逐漸模糊。他說，我愛妳。

　

Why there are wars in the world, especially between our countries, between you and my countries. I love you, too, Jerry, and so much so deeply. So I will wait. Wait for the day that there is no more borderline. Wait for you to say I love you to me, again with no incongruity.

　　為什麼世界上要有戰爭？而且就在我們兩國之間，就在我和你的國家之間。我愛你，Jerry，這麼刻骨這麼深。所以我會等，等不再有邊界的那一天，等你再對我說我愛你，而不需要內心衝突。